Do you ever have one of those days where you look in the mirror and think to yourself, "oh my god, is that me? Who have I become?"
This is me every single day. I look in the mirror and see a stranger, someone who I do not want to be. At age 17, I weighed 140 pounds. Back then I was a strong, confident girl, now, 6 years later, I weigh a lot more than that (a number that no one in cyber land needs to see) and while I still maintain my self confidence in many areas, my body image is not included in that list of areas. The more I stare at the stranger in the mirror, the angrier I get, and the more I desperately seek out someone or something to blame. My name blaming game often includes excuses such as :
-I am a university student, I don't have the time to eat right, I eat what I can when I can
-when I stopped taking birth control I gained so much weight at once I can't get it off
-eating healthy is so expensive, we don't make enough money to afford to eat clean
-my husband doesn't like healthy food, I can't just cook it for me
-because I am the only one eating healthy food, it goes bad so quickly
Now, while all of these "excuses" do have some element of truth to them, they are still excuses, and me simply finding somewhere to put the blame on. At the end of the day, I am in charge of my life, including my body, and the choices I make, will decide whether I look the way I want to or not.
This summer I looked in the mirror one day and simply said, enough is enough. I want to lose this weight not just to look good, but to feel good about myself too. I am going to New York in the fall, and I want to get as much weight off as I can and then reward myself with some fine shopping. I think that helps, having something to look forward to, something to keep you motivated and wanting to succeed. I think it is important to reward ourselves for all of our successes in life, and losing weight should be no exception.
So how do I begin? Where do I start? One of my strongest beliefs is that to change anything in this world, we must first change our thought process, the way we think about something. If we can first change how we think about something, our actions will simply follow along with our brain. So I first spent some time on this. Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking how disgusting I look or how unhappy I am with my body, I started thinking about my potential, and focus on the good qualities about myself. Knowing that there are some features about myself that I DO like, makes it easier to let myself think about what I don't like and how I can change that. I mean it's not all bad, I have pretty blue eyes (at least I think so) and I am always smiling, those are good things. Focusing on the things I like allows me to view myself in a more positive manner, which helps set up the stage for changing the things I want to change (in this case - my weight). Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes....right? :)
The second thought process I needed to change was the whole process of losing weight. I am a person who wants immediate results. If I work hard and don't SEE the results, I get frustrated and want to give up. I had to work through this way of thinking. For starters, I had to mentally prepare myself for the idea that this would be hard work, if I seriously want to lose the weight, I need to work hard. No pain no gain so to speak (on a side note, that saying annoys me when it is applied to weight loss, I don't want to gain, I want to lose - yessss I do know what it really means lol, just the wording of it seems somewhat awkward). In addition to mentally preparing myself for the work I needed to put into this, I also thought about how if I start working out I will transform some fat into muscle, so just because the numbers aren't going down drastically, I am also keeping in mind I am going to be gaining muscle (something I currently have none of).
After the week of changing my thought processes, I felt energized and ready to begin. I talked to my friends and my husband and they all got on board for encouraging me and supporting me along the way. Having that support system in place made me believe I could do this.
Then it was a matter of changing my thoughts into actions! I set my start date, mentally preparing myself (and preparing our wallet for the price of health foods also) and budgeting for groceries. On pay day, I got all the food I needed to begin the 17 day diet (I will post another blog later about what exactly this is, it is an awesome diet plan). I had one last night of eating what I wanted - which consisted of pasta for supper, intense pickle Doritos, a bottle of root beer, and a piece of cheese cake. Once I got all of this out of my system I really and truly felt ready to begin :)
For me the decision to start eating clean and losing weight was an easy one. I am not happy about myself and when we aren't happy with something - change it. While the decision was easy, preparing myself for the change was tough. It is so easy to just surrender ourselves to the "easy way" and to avoid something that takes hard work and determination, but at the end of the day, it does not change anything. I stand by my word that for me, losing weight is a process that requires a lot of thought changing, perspective taking and self awareness.
I am extremely happy that I made the decision to change my eating habits, after cycle 1 of the 17 day diet, I am 15 pounds lighter, and although I personally can't SEE the difference, many other people have and them telling me that I "look thinner since the last time they've seen me" makes me smile ear to ear. I have had ups and downs giving up so many junky type foods that I was eating, but each time I get on the scale and it shows I am down (even if it is only 3 or 4 pounds) it makes it all worth it!
What about you guys? What helps you make the decision to make changes in your lifestyle? Not just in regards to food choices, but any changes at all? :)
Chelcie
xoxo
